On the brightside

Its funny how often whe have to face change. And the complications that come with it..... When you think of fear, maybe things that come up are spiders or the dark. We all are afraid of something. Even if it's fear itself. I haven't ever really been frightened by those things. As a child, when I saw all the pretty little blonds scream when there was a bug, I followed suit. During scary movies however, I was constatly afraid for the people in the movie. So from then I just figured I was afraid of fear itself.

I was wrong. Not about being afraid of fear. I still am afraid of fear itself, but Ive realized that there is something much more scary to me than people being taunted and tortured. Its change. As much as I may hide it, it hurts me the most. Maybe I don't trust the whole idea. To me it seems more like a gamble..... everytime somthing changes, either its good, or not so great. I guess I'd rather not take the risk.

When things have changed, my parents got divorced or I lost my grandma. I know that theres still a lot of good that can come out of change. Like my mom leaving my step dad was the best change I could have ever hoped for. But change is what got them together in the first place. Its the one thing I can't do anything about. I can't arrange it to how I want it. I also can't always put the piceics back together when it leaves me with a mess.

And I hate how it does that to me. But maybe I'm not supposed to have it all together though. Maybe I'm supposed to accept it's defeat on me and move on. Maybe, just maybe the good change will make up for all the crappy stuff thats happened in my life. We'll see.