Stranger

There are people all around us. Riding the bus, walking, buying something in the store. Were all doing something and going somewhere. So what happens when you trap one stranger in with 15-20 kids who are all best friends? Youth Group. Its the one place where adults can drop off there kids in hopes that there learning more about their religion. And their kid makeing some sort of social contact all together. So naturally when my mom changed jobs to a new church, ba da bing ba da bo. New youth group.

Its kind of cool though. I never knew that there could be a place where jocks, nerds, band people, and the comic relifes could all be friends. I guess I didn't know what to excpect, so the minute I walked in alot of faces turned towards me, so I just kept my head low and took a seat on a couch in the far corner. Excatly 2 minutes passed untill a guy walked up in front of me with a huge smile on his face. He introduced himself and we shook hands.

From then on, everyone pretty much showered me in attention, which was kind of strange for me. People passed me notes and said hi during the surmon, and waved to me when I left. Like I was their best friend or something. It's strange, but they crack me up and are all different. I guess I'll see them next week.

On the brightside

Its funny how often whe have to face change. And the complications that come with it..... When you think of fear, maybe things that come up are spiders or the dark. We all are afraid of something. Even if it's fear itself. I haven't ever really been frightened by those things. As a child, when I saw all the pretty little blonds scream when there was a bug, I followed suit. During scary movies however, I was constatly afraid for the people in the movie. So from then I just figured I was afraid of fear itself.

I was wrong. Not about being afraid of fear. I still am afraid of fear itself, but Ive realized that there is something much more scary to me than people being taunted and tortured. Its change. As much as I may hide it, it hurts me the most. Maybe I don't trust the whole idea. To me it seems more like a gamble..... everytime somthing changes, either its good, or not so great. I guess I'd rather not take the risk.

When things have changed, my parents got divorced or I lost my grandma. I know that theres still a lot of good that can come out of change. Like my mom leaving my step dad was the best change I could have ever hoped for. But change is what got them together in the first place. Its the one thing I can't do anything about. I can't arrange it to how I want it. I also can't always put the piceics back together when it leaves me with a mess.

And I hate how it does that to me. But maybe I'm not supposed to have it all together though. Maybe I'm supposed to accept it's defeat on me and move on. Maybe, just maybe the good change will make up for all the crappy stuff thats happened in my life. We'll see.